The following limericks are selected from a collection entitled 101 Nervous Nun Limericks by shakuhachi maestro, Preston Keido Houser. These follow his love limericks from a monk’s perspective.

The verses are much in the spirit of koans and Zen humour, lighthearted yet hinting at something deeper. They also have a deliberately irregular syllable pattern from the conventional limerick, because, in the words of the author, they are meant ‘to challenge the reader’.

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There once was a nun from paradise
Who sought enlightenment at any price.
Yet for all her acuity
She was unable to see
The water that hides in the ice.

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There once was a nun from Koblentz
Who spoke up in heaven’s defense.
‘For all the pejoratives
Hurled at hell’s narratives,
In the end all life makes sense.’

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There once was a nun from Whitstable
Whose sultry allure was irresistible.
‘Though many monks seek my hand
One principle they don”t understand:
The sexual is simply transitional.’

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There once was a nun most dejected
When she detected her teaching was rejected.
‘It seems I spoke too soon,
For what I thought was the moon
Turned out to be sunlight reflected.’

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There once was a nun from Wye
Whose husband made her hue and cry.
‘For all the expectations,
Frustrations, and jubilations,
I still can’t believe I married this guy!’

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There once was a nun from Botany Bay
Who tried to console a family facing doomsday.
‘I know the news is bad,
But please don’t be sad,
Even if it’s not okay it’s gonna be okay.’

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There once was a nun from Cherokee Nation
Who pondered the XR situation.
‘Despite environmental calamity,
Is the purpose of humanity
To make the world safe for annihilation?’

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As well as performing at WiK events, Preston has produced a stream of poetry in the Villanelle form. For other verse by Preston, please see his Improv Poesy or for a selection of four poems, click here. To hear him talk about shakuhachi and Zen, or to hear him play, please listen to the following podcast: https://www.ancientdragon.org/podcast-library/